Growing Up…

“Me: Oh wow.. we look different…did we grow old or what?
Ghada: Yeah oh MY GOD!  It seems like we did! 
Me: This photo was taken 9 years ago… I look so fat.. but .. younger?”

So we spent the last hour going through photos from our university years,  2005 to 2010. I had plugged in my red Western Digital portable Hard Disk which has survived so far 5 years of backups and old laptops. Nostalgia forever. You realize how much you have grown up, how your circles may have altered, who you are still in touch with and who not, who got married, who has kids, who is where, etc.. etc..oh and of course many photos of people you are barely in touch with right now but you know their:

  • FULL name (name+dad’s name+grandfather’s name+family name)
  • Exact whereabouts in life right now
  • Marital status
  • Circle of current friends
  • Music interests
  • How they are feeling right now.

And that is all of course facilitated by the one and only, THE social network, Facebook.

Whilst going through the endless backup folders I came across many other things apart from uni photos.. I had gotten the hard disk back with me to Stuttgart after my last visit to Cairo 2 weeks ago. I have been getting this feeling of detachment to who I am for a long time now.. I thought its just the way people are supposed to be growing up.. but now I think not.

I came across university memoirs from the courses I took that I loved the most.. projects from web design and PHP (which I think I have absolutely no recollection of right now) to computer graphics to a 2D game from my second year.

New self to old self: “Uh Oh..you were much more intelligent than I am right now. I don’t know nor do I feel I have the capacity to refresh or re-learn any of that”

Also came across a bunch of movies and realized how much we used to strive to lay our hands on ripped movie DVDs and copying movies and series here and there.. before the age of fast and easy online streaming. They even contained some amazing documentaries..

New self to old self: “Documentaries about global warming and animals.. nice…. that’s a surprise! looks like you were intellectual?”

Then a bunch of music collections.. from Limewire (a deceased, at least to me, P2P  file sharing program from which I used to download tonnes of music and get tonnes of trojans and viruses back🙂 ), and ones legally downloaded and/or passed over from friends. Again that feeling that I come from an age at which having music on your personal computer was considered national treasure at a time when Dial Up internet was a commodity and DSL was still in the beginning of its booming era.

New self to old self: “Your music tastes are pretty weird. There is Amr Diab, Metallica, Black Eyed Peas, soundtracks from movies and classical music all in the same collection. Diverse and fresh!”

Finally, a bunch of my personal diary notes, before wordpress and the like made it possible for people to shout their thoughts into the void🙂

I could write pages and pages about the nostalgic adventure into the hard disk folders.. about the friends and family I miss, the friends who are busy and far away, the people we lost, the university successes.. and failures, the projects, the dreams, the movies, the music.. but most of all I feel two things:

  • Grateful.

    Because looking back I realize that one has been through a lot, and met a handful of amazing people through each phase of life..many of which are and still and will always be, the backbone to count on and are like a family for life..

  • Reflective.

    Because looking back opens my eyes to what I am today. I do not believe I plugged my red  WD HD into the USB hub today by chance. Indeed it has been very meticulously  subconsciously planned. For it is now time to reflect and readjust one’s life. The absolute chaos one’s life has recently become, the continuous bitterness, the hateful awful news everywhere, the ever lasting feeling of being worn out without making any effort, all of it, got to me. Now is the time to reflect, and take some action, restore a bit of the balance and the dreaminess maybe.. Hopefully?

PS: Ghada and I have discovered a tonne of photos that we can blackmail many of our friends with in this quick rush through the memory lane. So.. beware😀

2 thoughts on “Growing Up…

  1. Farah Elkhamissy says:

    Ana et2asart, I miss you :((

    on another note, since I graduated I have been remorsing on the fact that I used to be intelligent. And it doesn’t seem to be getting any better…haha

    Liked by 1 person

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